200 days to go!

According to one of my smartphone apps, I have 200 days to go until Baby
Time! I'm sure this is horribly inaccurate, but all the same, it feels like
a milestone to me. I can't wait for tomorrow so I can hear the baby and
finally get some reassurance that all is well. I really want an ultrasound,
but I know I probably don't need one. I have a lot of anxiety around the
idea of it being twins, but I'm sure the midwife will be able to tell just
by a physical examination if she needs to order an ultrasound to "diagnose"
twins. Besides, there is some scant research that indicates ultrasounds are
irritating to fetuses and may even be detrimental to cell development.
There's not a lot of research on the effects of ultrasounds, which is weird
since their so standard. You would think the medical community would have
thoroughly vetted the risks to make sure they don't outweigh the benefits
before making it standard practice to give everyone an ultrasound. Makes me
a little leery of the whole obstetrics community. They should be able to
tell me that ultrasounds are proven 100% safe, and they can't. The best
they can say is that "we assume ultrasounds are safe but no one has studied
the effects". Hmph!

Anyway, tomorrow is baby doctor time! FINALLY! I'm so anxious. I'll bet I
have a terrible time getting to sleep tonight, which would suck because
tomorrow is going to be a long day. I have an early appointment with the
midwife, straight to work, straight from work to the funeral home for the
service for my youngest uncle's long-time domestic partner - for all intents
and purposes, we'll say my aunt who died unexpectedly the other day. It's
very sad, but I really haven't been able to think much about it because I'm
so focused on the appointment to see my midwife. I'm sure after we get some
piece of mind, I'll be able to really feel the full impact of her death.

I will probably tell my boss tomorrow if all goes well at my appointment. I
was also looking forward to spilling the beans on Facebook, but I have a
couple of other good friends that would like to hear first hand. I have
plans to do lunch with one of them this Saturday and I'm sure if I catch the
other online, she'll be thrilled and not too sad not to be told face to
face. So I guess I can wait to do a FB announcement until after Saturday.
It's just really hard to be patient. I hate waiting!

****

Thoughts on "The Business of Being Born"

I just got done watching "The Business of Being Born" and was glad to see the home birth perspective, but unconvinced that I needed to change my own birth plan. I have to say, I wanted more of a cohesive narrative. They show many women in labor at their homes, but there isn't much introduction of them and no background information is given on why they made the decision to labor at home. Well, some of the women explain their reasoning, but not by any means all. I think it would have been better to feature three or four women and follow them through their pregnancies, having one or two end up in home births, one end in an uncomplicated vaginal delivery and one end in cessarian and then let the viewer draw his/her own conclusions about which experience was the most positive instead of having a succession of interviewees make the claim that home birth is the safest and best option. I just think it was a bit heavy handed with it's message. That being said, it had good information in it or at least enough information that it gives you good leads on what to research in greater depth on your own.

My husband was messing around with his computer in the room while I watched the movie and at one point he commented on a delivery scene. "Why is she naked?" he asked. I shrugged and said, "beacuse she's in labor and maybe that's how she feels most comfortable." He said, "Well, I don't see why she has to be naked." Now, I'm kind of a walk around the house naked on occasion type of person, so I don't consider wanting to be naked during labor and delivery to be unusual at all. I told him that if he had a problem with that, then we could implant him with my uterus and he can take over and deliver the baby himself. "Oh, right," I said, "you can't do that. So why don't you just let me do whatever helps get me through this, even if it means I find hospital gowns to be uncomfortable and want to go naked." I think he thought I was just being hormonal, but he needs to get used to the idea of being supportive during the process and also knowing what to expect and what is going to be expected of him. I get the impression he thinks he's just going to play sudoku on his phone between contractions while I'll presumably behave in a manner similar to every sitcom labor he's ever seen, and the nurses and midwife will take care of everything else.

He also said "gross" when one of the babies was delivered in the movie. I said, "Sorry, it's a gross process, so don't wear any clothes that day that you would mind getting icky."
He went to bed before the end of the movie, which was fine since he was busy with his tech stuff and I put it on for me to watch, so it wasn't like a let's sit down and watch this together and then discuss it type of night. It's on Netflix so if he wants to watch it, he can. I wish he would have watched more or seemed more interested in the parts he did watch, but it took him awhile to get used to the idea of ditching contraception, so maybe he'll come around to realizing that labor is an intense and dynamic process in his own time. I'm certain that the Bradley Method classes I'm considering will go a long way towards managing his expectations of what labor will be like, which is part of the reason I find them so appealling. It's a 12 week course, so he'll have plenty of time to wrap his head around what his role will be and we'll both have lots of practice with relaxation techniques that will help with the pain.

1 week

Had to go out shopping for a new/more comfortable bra last night and ended
up in a 42D, up from a 40C. Yikes! And I met my girlfriend who has two
toddler boys for dinner and told her my news. She was super excited and we
talked for a few hours about husbands and pregnancy and crafts. Good times!

Only one week left until my first prenatal appointment! I'm going to tell
the midwife about how I've been feeling the baby intermittently. A lot of
people say it's physiologically impossible, but I beg to differ! Gosh, I
hope I get to see an ultrasound just to put my mind at ease about the whole
twins thing. And I'll be really interested in finding out what the fees are
going to be so I can plan accordingly.

The husband is out tonight giving a lecture to a bunch of computer nerds, so
I'm going to whip up some falafel and perhaps pop some sriracha popcorn and
load up my DVR'd episodes of Downton Abbey. Ahhh. Relaxing.

****

Quickening?

Last night I was lying in bed and felt a little flutter in just above my pubic bone. It went on for awhile and felt like a muscle spasm, like an eye twitch. Holy crap, could that be the baby?!

Also, I can feel my uterus a few inches above my pubic bone. I'm really hoping that these early symptoms aren't an indication of twins. Goodness!

I had my first fully caffeinated Coke since I learned I was pregnant today at lunch. I wasn't feeling particularly tired or like I really needed the caffeine, I just wanted a little treat.

Getting bigger

Well, I definitely need to go out and get a new bra. My boobs aren't too
noticeably bigger, but they're definitely creeping towards D cup territory.
Just 9 more days until I get in to see my midwife for the first time. Can't
wait!!! I know we'll get to hear the baby's heartbeat on the doppler, but I
don't think they'll do an ultrasound this time. I'm pretty sure they just
do one ultrasound at 20 weeks when we'll get to find out the gender. That
should be sometime around our 2nd wedding anniversary. I wish we could see
the baby at our first visit, though, because it'd be great to put my mind at
ease about the whole possibility of having twins. I'm definitely starting
to show, and I'm thinking that it's still a little early at 10 weeks to be
showing. But we'll see what the midwife has to say about that.

****

Telling

So even though we haven't had our first appointment yet, I've been anxious to start telling people. I caught my friends who live in a different city last night and I told them, but told them to keep a lid on it. When my co-worker/neighbor/friend told me the other day that she was 10 weeks, I returned her confidence. That's exciting that we're just a few weeks apart! My mom told someone I used to go to high school with, but we're not really friends anymore, so no biggie, I guess. She sent me a nice note of congratulations on Facebook.

I've got plans with friends tomorrow, a Super Bowl party on Sunday, and meeting the girls for pizza and beers on Tuesday, so I'm sure I'll spill the beans then. Hopefully my first appointment in a couple of weeks goes well. I want to tell my good friends personally before splashing the news on Facebook and I plan on doing that at 12 weeks, a week after my first prenatal visit with the midwife. So one week doesn't give me much time to make the rounds and tell everyone in person, so I thought I'd get a jump start on it.

And I SWEAR I'm starting to show, so I'll have to tell my boss soon.

Strange Conversation with My Uncle

A family friend died recently and I stopped by the funeral home this morning to pay my respects.  I was talking to my mom and uncle when my uncle asked, "So do you have any doctor's confirmation of the pregnancy yet or do you still just think you are pregnant?"  I was a little wierded out that he would even bring it up, but I told him that I didn't have an appointment for another couple of weeks, but that I was pretty sure about the pregnancy and didn't need to go to the doctor and pee in a cup when I could pee on a stick at home and get the same result.  I didn't mention it at the time, but the fact that I've missed two periods, my boobs fell like they're trying to make a bid for secession from my chest, and my stomach churns any time I'm foolish enough to let it get too empty is enough confirmation for me.  So yeah, I'm pretty certain I'm pregnant.  He just kind of looked at me funny and said, "well, don't you have to get a confirmation?"  I was like, "no, that would be a waste of money and the midwife's valuable time."  He still seemed confused and I wasn't sure if he couldn't believe that a woman would know she was pregnant without having a doctor tell her she was or what.  Finally, he said "I thought you had to have the doctor confirm it.  Every time my step-daughter gets knocked up she has to go get confirmation."  Knowing his step daughter, I'm fairly certain the reason she has to get early confirmation is because she's on Medicaid and they need a doctor's referral to an OB or something.  I'm still not sure what he was so confused about, and now I'm confused by the whole conversation.