I miss birth control

I miss birth control.  I miss the predictability and the lessening in menstrual flow and I keep forgetting to take my prenatal vitamin at night because I don't have to remind myself to take my pill.  It has been a miserable week.  First of all, I wasn't sure when or if my period was going to start, and that just drives me to distraction.  And once it started it was heavy and looooong.  But I got by just fine without the pill for 27 years, so I'm sure I'll live without it for a few months.   I do not, however, miss condoms.

I had a giant coffee today and meant to break open a bottle of wine but wasn't in the mood.  I was being too productive around the house to sit and sip wine.  Today is looking to be the last day of my period, and I've decided to bid farewell to caffeine and alcohol altogether while we're trying to conceive.  Of course, I may have the occasional one cup of coffee, but definitely no alcohol.  And of course, I'm going to try to eat well and take the dog on a walk every day to get a bit of exercise.

Also, I found some of the super early pregnancy tests on sale and just had to buy them.  They're advertised to work up to 6 days before a missed period.  I thought two or three days would be the limit.  I'm really going to try not to be neurotic about testing, though.   My plan is to just assume that I'm pregnant until my body lets me know otherwise by menstruating.

My husband keeps suggesting that maybe I'm too excited about being pregnant and not thinking that we'll have a child for the next 18+ years to care for, kinda like that syndrome of planning for a wedding and not a marriage, but he's definitely wrong.  We were talking just the other day about the possibility of home schooling and our options for college savings.  I'm definitely thinking things through, even into the very long term.

Oh yes, and I'm furious with my husband for his smoking habit.  When we got married, we agreed to stop smoking.  I was a light smoker, going through perhaps two packs in a week at most, but when I went on birth control, I quit, partly because I knew I wanted to eventually start a family and I'd have to quit for pregnancy anyway, and party because of the known risks of mixing the pill with a smoking habit.  My husband quit, too, for a few months and then started back up again.  He's promised to quit again.  I've specifically requested that he quit BEFORE I get pregnant.  He was such an enormous asshole when he was trying to quit the last time that I don't think we'd get along very well if he were having bad cravings and I was all hormonal.  The last time around, I was stressed out with wedding planning and a new job, and he was being a big jerk about every little thing and it got really tense for awhile.  I just don't want that kind of atmosphere while I'm trying to grow a person.  I keep asking him when he's going to quit, and he keeps saying "I don't know".  Well, he's about out of time, so I'm really hoping he gets his mind made up soon.  And I can only imagine what harm smoking causes to sperm.  I think I may have to research that a bit.