Gender drama

So we're having a baby boy, but we decided that we weren't going to tell
anyone but family what the gender is because we don't want a bunch of pink
or blue things. We'd rather people buy us neutral things.

An example of the kind of idiocy that we're trying to avoid:
I was showing my mother-in-law the crib that we'd picked out before we'd
learned the gender. The picture was of the model we'd chosen in a white
finish.
"Oh, a white finish?" she said, "you know if you have a boy, he's not
going to like that white."
I was baffled, "Why wouldn't a boy like a white finish?" The only
explanation I got was "it just looks girly". Ooookay.
"So what if I was really looking at this natural oak finish?" I asked.
"Well, you know a girl won't like wood finish."
!!!!! WHY WOULDN'T A GIRL LIKE WOOD FINISH?!?!?!?!

This whole conversation just made no sense to me, but people have some wacky
ideas about gender, gender roles, and the 'genderization' of infants. I've
come to the conclusion that although it confuses the heck out of me why
people have such strong opinions on the matter, that this is just the way
that it is. So the best way to avoid having to confront people's strange
gender ideas is to not tell them the gender. So there!
Of course, if you go around telling people that you're not finding out
the gender, then that opens you up to a whole different variety of
criticism, so my husband and I decided to essentially lie to our friends and
tell them that we tried to find out the gender, but the baby just wasn't in
a good position and we weren't able to tell.
Unfortunately, I neglected to specifically instruct my mother not to go
around telling non-family members what the gender of the baby was going to
be, so she told her obnoxious friend and of course that obnoxious friend
went and blabbed all over my facebook wall about not being able to wait to
meet my "little man". Grrr. I deleted the post and sent her a short
message (I was late getting back to my desk from lunch and was typing on my
phone) to please watch what she says on Facebook because we weren't publicly
announcing the gender of the baby. If she would have bothered to read any of
my recent statuses, she would have seen that we "didn't know" what the
gender was and that might have given her pause, but I found the comment
quickly and deleted I hope before anyone could see. She wasn't told not to
tell, so I really couldn't blame her or my mom. It was my oversight that
cause the issue in the first place.
I called my mom and left her a voicemail that I goofed up and forgot to
tell her not to tell everyone and their mother that we were having a boy.
She called me back and said she understood why we'd want to do it that way
and that was that...so I thought.
A bit later in the day, I got a call on my phone from my mom's friend.
I was working, so I let it go to voicemail figuring she'd just want to
apologize anyway. Boy was I ever wrong! She left me a long, hateful
voicemail about how I was being rude to her and that she was unfriending me
immediately. Apparently, the main source of injury was that my message to
her was so short and brusk. Sigh. I don't even think I'm going to call her
back to try to explain that I was in a hurry and typing on my phone which is
difficult and that it wasn't really her fault. She's emotionally unstable
and this is not the first round of drama she's brought into my life
unnecessarily, so I'm thinking I'm just going to have to let her go. I know
she'll probably hound my mother about how unfair I was to her, but if mom
doesn't want to deal with people who bring the drama, then it's her
responsibility to cut ties.
I'm in a good place in my life. My marriage is good, I have good
friends (that I really should make more time for), our finances are stable
and life is pretty stress-free. Of course a lot of the reason that life is
stress free is because I consciously made an effort to eliminate the people
and habits in my life that were the sources of my stress. So yeah. Each
person has to determine what level of drama they're willing to live with.
Some people like it. Some thrive off of it. Some go through a drama phase.
It's just not for me.
So hopefully nobody was checking their facebook feed today midday. And
if they did, maybe I'll just play it off by saying "well, everyone has their
guesses".

****

It's a...BOY!

Well, things have been very uneventful until today. My belly is getting
pretty big now, which is a big laugh for everyone. My neighbor who is due a
week before me still isn't really showing all that much. She's having a
boy, and we found out this morning that we're having a boy, too!!!

We got to see him moving around a lot and kicking. He was feet down and my
placenta is in the front, apparently. Everything looked great, though they
said the baby was a tad large (in the 65% for size, whatever that means.
Larger than 65% of all other babies at that gestational age??) In any
event, the ultrasound tech estimated the due date at August 25th, but the
midwife said we'll keep the official date at September 1st and assume he's a
bit large. Also, I've gained 6 pounds, right on target.

Next month we start our birthing classes and will also have a cloth
diapering class with a local diaper service vendor which should be really
informative. I'm looking forward to both.

Everyone is really excited to have another boy in the family. My mom said I
am "ruining the tribe of girls" since our side of the family is all women.
My husband's troupe is all men, though, so I suppose it all balances out. I
told my husband that the decision about circumcision is all up to him since
he's the family's resident penis expert. He's leaning towards not having
him circumcised and I'm all for it. My only two cons to not circumcising is
if he asks at some point why his parts don't look like daddy's parts and the
advantage of not contracting sexually transmitted diseases as easily. But
then if our son decides to be circumcised later in life, he always has that
option.

We celebrated our second anniversary this weekend by going out of town
overnight and eating at a fancy French restaurant in Cincinnati. Then we
hit up the museum to see a special exhibit on Pompeii, which was very cool,
but I get worn out a bit faster than normal when there is a lot of walking
to do. Also, the hard hotel mattress tried to murder me in my sleep! I
woke up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and my hips hurt so
badly I almost had to crawl. My legs were weak all day, so we headed home
in the early afternoon instead of staying out until evening. I've taken to
tucking an extra pillow between my knees at home and this seems to help me
wake up with less back pain. My snoring hasn't let up any (womp womp). I
still haven't started walking more, which I really, really should do. On
Monday, our actual anniversary, I came home from work to a lovely bouquet in
my favorite colors.

A lady at work gave me a bunch of maternity shirts in my size. I'm thrilled
to have them. I have one pair of dedicated maternity pants, about three
pairs of goucho pants that are stretchy enough to serve me well, and then I
have two pairs of stretchy slacks that are also wearable. I also have a lot
of skirts with elastic waistbands, but I've been preferring pants so far.

We haven't made any progress on the nursery...sigh. We'll have to get on
that when we have a free weekend. I did buy new blinds, though.

****